btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
