God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
