He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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