pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
