Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
