I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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