Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
