I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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