Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
