Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
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