why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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