Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
