I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
