i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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