I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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