4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
