so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
