I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
