Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
