Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
