even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
