garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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