Duck Duck Cougar?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
