wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
