I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
When did angry sex become our thing?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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