She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
