My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
