I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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