if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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