the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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