Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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