sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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