It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
