Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
