Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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