trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just cropdusted the office
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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