does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
