are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
