On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You can't special order awesome
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
