I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize