I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
