what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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