dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
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And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
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I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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