ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
