That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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