dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
