another moral hangover. fuck.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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