he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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