The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
