direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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