my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
