just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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