drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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