i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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