Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
