I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
