Well apparently he's into motor boating.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
