There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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