i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
