happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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