I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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