smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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