you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
