Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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