There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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